Motives

I have been thinking a lot about my heart and my motives for things. Everything we do, has a motive behind it. God mainly cares about our motives, regardless of what we do or don't do. I have felt overwhelmed with this idea. I feel as if this is hitting me again and I'm relearning God's desire to see good motives in me. I'm almost scared to think about how often I have good motives. It seems like to serve anyone, or do anything "right" is for some selfish motivation. Although, I understand God has blessed us with feeling good after we do good or succeed. Through this process I have been reevaluating my passion to do missionary work overseas. Are my motives pure? Can they be fully pure?

Mitch and my family met for the first time tonight for dinner. My mom and his dad began talking and I was half-way in the conversation listening. They were talking about how they were worried about Mitch and my future and our similar desires to go overseas and serve alongside each other. They worry about finances, jobs, and our safety. As they agreed that they worry about us, I turned and told Mitch. To sum up what they were saying, I said; "they think we don't fully understand the world." And Mitch simply said, "maybe their the ones who don't understand." This was a profound statement to me, and I have been wrestling with my motives behind my future goals. I wonder if is because it is viewed as dangerous, exciting, and God-honoring. I wondering if it is because I want people to be impressed and see me in this "missionary" light. I know that my passion to work with women and children overseas won't be wasted because of my motives. I am challenged to reevaluate my motives in future plans like this and in daily situations.

This season will be interesting as I process through things like this, as Christmas is a time for giving, receiving and spending time with family. Through these situations I want to be conscious of my motives and continue to process how to filter out my motives that aren't pleasing to God.